Radiant Matter

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November of 2022. “Radiant Matter” is a body of work that maps this year’s difficult passage.

In the early part of last year’s winter, when I was especially fearful, I created some pieces to offer myself some joy. Through my studio window, I stared long and hard at my bird feeder and dreamed of flight, an escape from my stitched-up and bruised chest. I turned my torso into a place where winged creatures would live, a goofy pun of a Titmouse House. Pink, of course, was on my mind, so I took that color with me on a fantasy return to Oaxaca, a place that inspires me. I listened to music and made a collage of being Lucinda Williams fun--hell-on-wheels. I drew butterflies, trumpet lilies—all manner of nature’s beauty.

I grew interested in my own body and  its exposure to environmental dangers. I also woke up to my own mental dangers, and how I’ve caused harm to myself. Venus De Milo is my young self, striving for beauty through an eating disorder. Both starvation and cancer consume a healthy body. “Hebe’s Fountain of Youth” also reflected environmental dangers. It’s fine to want a fountain of youth, but be careful before you dip into it, the water might be toxic.

In mid to late winter, I had nineteen radiation treatments. Along the way, I grew curious about the light waves that were killing off any remaining cancer cells. I researched Marie Curie and her discovery of polonium and radium. I’m often interested in nature’s repetition, and in this piece, I saw radiant ribcages look much like fern leaves. In much of the art, I used imagery of the sun and several light sources—all kinds of electromagnetic waves. (Electric catfish and lightning, for example). I was interested in my healthy skin, sure to emerge from the burn like a cicada freed from its shell. My radiologist, interested in my art, shared his imaging maps of my breast, all illuminating my breast tissue as rainbows. I used his lab photographs in several of the art pieces.

These collages are made from a variety of materials. I draw the figures in pen and pencil and then arrange them on the acrylic and oil pastel canvas. I use materials that are soft or sparkly and often associated with femininity: mulberry papers, glitter, rhinestones, metallic tape, lace, sequins, velvet, origami paper, embroidery threads, and fancy placemats.

I hope that this show reminds people to look for beauty in the midst of fear. And more than anything, I hope this show reminds busy folks to pause, pick up the phone, and make a potentially life-saving mammogram appointment.